Can you imagine

can you imagine if i tell you i doubt if i can still write/type?

can you imagine if what i'm saying here is true?

i haven't put down my thoughts and emotions in words for such a long time. forgive me. all these while i chose other medium(s) for catharsis--playing piano, working out, cooking...

am i better in piano? you bet. developing more muscles? you bet. getting better in making delicious food? i'm living up 'chi can cook'. ;-)

so much to do to improve myself. to better myself. to love myself. to strengthen myself. and at times, i wonder...how would it be like to share all these with a lover/gf.

sometimes i don't know how NOT to be wild and bad. but then again, i told myself to behave. why throw my value system away...it's just a phase of life (being bad). again and again i reminded myself. it's a great thing to have something profound and truthful and deep and sound to fall back.

heck, i do love the song "i wanna fuck you". opppsss...

can you imagine i've consumed more than US$10k worth of wine last year? yes, all those fancy and expensive and RARE french wines. everytime i consume some, i feel like i'm coating myself with gold.

i finally got my expensive birthday gift last week (after half a year gone by). can you imagine me wearing a pearl necklace with a matching pearl earrings (my best friend said it's a classic design). when i wore it i had to remind myself in front of the mirror that i'm a gal... oh well, i told myself that i'm a boyish gal. i think i can pull it off with a (girlish) pearl and some shirt and pants and a nice malay shawl (it's from a kebaya outfit i owned) ;-) heh, i actually look superb and 'statement-making'! i shall debut my pearl-ly outfit this weekend at a wine auction at Daniel Restaurant in NYC. Fyi, Daniel is one of the top restaurants in the world! OMG...omg...omg.

can you imagine i spent 7-8 hours waiting without food (luckily i had some sweets) and drinks (i had limited water) and NO toilet breaks at Times Square, NYC for the 2007 countdown. torturing! agonizing! ridiculous, at some point. i almost gave up waiting. in the end, i pushed myself and finally i'm happy to announce that i MADE it. unbelievable experience, but i'd only do it once in my life. next time, i'm gonna watch it on tv.

sea of people. what a crazy night.

can you imagine that i'm a copper blondie now. haha. yes, i am. a gal told me i look great and surprised to find that i'm still single and available. oh well...i wonder why too.