Random Thoughts

Felt festive this morning, afternoon at our early-Thanksgiving party. Awaiting the arrival of guests. Hard time picking on what to wear. Will my invited friends come.

How come there's another LJ. What's with the connection. Why this is happening. A sign. A fate. A play. A joke.

Still in memory. Phone memory. Her asset. Voice. Brought tears to my eyes. Heavy heart. A grief. Alone(liness). Still in memory.

The flirt. The feeling of shyness and courage at admitting and telling what's felt. A reminiscence.

Did as I expect the presence. Heart and soul, feelings and desire poured into the making of the grass jelly drink. Your favorite. Urge to reach out. Cheer you up (if you make your unexpected expected presence). Make you smile. Mutual gush. Did as I felt the need to do something for you to be happy, thrilled, enjoying every single moment and drops of the drink. 1.40am and a glass of grass jelly is waiting for you (refer to the picture). Silence hurts. Ignorance kills.

Running dry on creative ideas. Want me to play director. Back to before. What to do for the future generations. How to perform, again.

Frustration. New co-workers. Looks like relatives. Love or hate. Why stick to the bear. I am struggling. Foolish act. Felt a sense of gratitude. Can't do it. Not yet.

Doubtful of mother's ability. Should I or should I not. Not a very good daughter. Am I going to hurt her with my decision(s). Am not accustomed of her being so near, in my life.

I have discovered my bubble.

Kinda in stress at new working environment. Enjoying the excitement. The rush. Adrenaline pumping. Money is good. Dinner (for employees) sucks.

Playing mahjong (chinese tiles) can be real fun, and ADDICTIVE. Contemplating thoughts on the withdrawal from being too drawn...