January has gone

Stone Butch Blues was intense. It has (re)sparked my love and joy of reading. I haven't had this strong emotional--attachment to a book since a long time ago. At one point, I wanted to hurl the book across the room coz it was SO painful and dreadful to go on. And then, sometimes I was so engrossed in it that I've forgotten everything that was evolving around me.

I brought the book to read while I was working, and I got yelled at for not taking care of my customers :P

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Minimester (winter semester) has begun, and gone. I took 'Writing About Art'. Yup, now I can confidently say that I can give a good critique on fine arts--painting and sculpture. ;)

I love it. You know, you can say anything about a piece of art and if it's justifiable and logical, you make strong and profound points. Basically, anything is right because you FEEL and MOVED by it. Unlike science--everything has to be proven. Heh. Let's not go into that. Of course, there's joy in both field/world--the act of discovering ;)

Artistically, creatively and aesthetically, I was 'stagnant'. Somehow I felt the cowardice and fear in performing and creating performance after a long 'absence' from practical classes and theatre rehearsals--unproductive. Hence, to 'fix' myself, I volunteered for QuestFest ;) By doing so, I put myself in the theatre scene--workshops and performances.

I felt good learning the Indian classical dance (drama)--kathak and kathakali. So much stomping. Well, actually it's more like 'slapping' the floor with the foot! Oh, I was introduced to the mudras (hand gestures) as well ;) Gee, I should have learned this (not the stomping, the mudras) while I was in KL, when I was attending Indian dance performances regularly. Oh boy, I MISS THE SUTRA HOUSE!

Aerial theatre was scary, but LIBERATING. I actually went there to check out the workshop, NOT to participate. However, it's rather ermmm...uncool and not-so-nice to turn down M's (and other participants) invitation. Well, ok. So I swung and hung myself at the trapeze. It takes so much trust and confidence (in me) to let go and 'fly'. Hmmm, fyi, the trapeze wasn't like very high but high enough to break some bones and even can be fatal if one breaks the neck! Yeah, no safety net. The only safety was M's great observation and support. I did it coz I TRUST her. :)

Going to Butoh workshop was like going 'home'. At least it's not alien to me, and I was comfortable with the moves (although it made my muscles ached for a few days!). Doing Butoh relaxes me--it provides a channel to release the darkness of emotions, and pushes me beyond rational thinking. It's kinda liberating too, you know :)

More fun times at QuestFest - going to see performances for free! and meeting new people and friends.

Having new friends made me realize and contemplate what friendship means, in this foreign land. Of course, those new friends were mostly Caucasians. And so, recently, confronting my (same color) friends has been quite unpleasant. It leaves a sour note on our friendship, on the issue of 'birds of a feather flock together'. Generally and based on value-creation, should the birds flock together? I'm not saying they should or shouldn't - it's very subjective and complex. I'm...I'm just...disappointed of what happened (and still is happening now).

Takes in a deep breath.

The drama will continue...