yahoo! what's wrong with me?

Don't know why so horny these days...(not unusual, hehe). wonder if melancholy and high libido go together. Anyway, studies prove (correct me if I'm wrong, read it years ago - being an avid magazines reader) that horniness makes you feel pretty, sexy, perky, glowy and WANT TO GO OUT AND MEET PEOPLE. Also, hormones (endorphin, estrogen, progesterone?) would be released/dispersed... Oh yeah, I just heard that one of my best friends masturbated the other day (after I gave up encouraging sometime ago coz she would say no), for the first time in her entire life (she's older than me!). Yuhuuuuu! You go, girl! ;)

Back to my point. Hmmm...hormones - perhaps this explains why M behaved crudely around us. I was the only lady around. He (shamelessly) made the sex sound (you know, moaning and hard breathing) and thinking and talking about (butt) sex. Haha! Did I turned on by that (not butt sex but the sound)? No. However, I was...by the sound of C's (our SM) breathing and chuckling over the headset during Ragtime production. Why, huh. A gentler voice...perhaps :)

So, I was busy doing something (ehem) before Ragtime, and I was running late so I didn't make-up and dress up nicely ;P. Just a black T Shirt and pants because I feel fat (bloated). Skipped dinner (due to I was fat that day and no time to fix and eat :P). When I got to Stephens Hall (where Ragtime at), H told me it's C's birthday, and they (I supposed the people in the production) might go out and celebrate with her after the show. Damn! I should have have a better presentation (appearance)! Well, I almost missed that party coz I 'lost' my ride. But on the way walkking back to my place, I saw the Jokesters (S and M - theatre makeup professors at TU) and I got a ride with them. Ahh...it's at Owl Bar, at Belvedere Hotel, in Baltimore. I haven't been there before...

Got to the bar, cool... Love it :) Not too noisy (music), alot of people tchatting...drinking...nobody dancing...not very smoky. Oh yeah, lotsa pretty people to see ;) I was kinda taken aback to see no (ragtime) cast members there! There's only S (the ASM). And then, of course there's J, C's gf. What a lovely couple...both so pretty and smart :) We chatted, drank, sang bday song and eat her cake (ehem, the cake her grandma sent, it's a rum cake - yummy!!!).

Got home, made myself a vodka lime...blogged (I typed that long poem while feeling tipsy, while listening to some nude music, ehem...). Sang and recorded 'Dream a Little Dream'. Thought of MMS-ing it but couldn't - exceeding premitted kilobytes. Damn! So that recording still stays in my cellphone. Sounded so sexy (deep and hoarse voice). hahaha! And then what did I do...go straight to bed, I think ;P

Thought of going out to the mall and buy that cable (to transfer those big files from my phone to PC) and go buy some ginger (important ingredient for Chinese cuisine :P). But I didn't, spent too much time errr...doing something :P and then CY was online, bitching about the meeting she just had and expressing her 'deep' views on Buddhism. Bla bla bla. I checked my mailbox, shit! My lesbian books weren't there yet. So, I took time to shower and dressed up and put on some make-up :) looking fabulous in my leather-looking Levi's pants and half turtle neck black top. ;) Even C took another look at me before she entered the control booth! haha!

I could go to the cast party with everybody at Bateman's (restaurant/pub on campus). I could go to I's keg party. But I didn't... I called W and suggested that we go to Owl Bar together (he's never been there before and wanted to check it out). Check the gals out, u know. But I knew we would never get lucky because we would be looking like a couple! :P I had Long Island Tea. Gosh, didn't know it's gonna be sucha big glass and strong! Didn't taste like the one they make back home. By the time I finished the drink, I felt drunk already...but still could make it to the car. During the ride home, I fell asleep (luckily W didn't take me elsewhere, haha!). Back up a little bit...I was drinking out of frustration (of being treated like I was talking to a wall...of being rejected by stepping on certain boundary...of realizing how things will never be the same again). Before I got out the car, W (being sucha gentleman) gave me a hug and told me to feel better. What a friend :) (that always wanna get in the shower with me...but NEVER! :P) I got into my apartment, ran straight to the bathroom and threw up! Gee, the last time I threw up after drinking was...ermmm...3 years ago. Only 1 glass of Long Island Tea!!! And people say I'm an alcoholic, come on...if I am, I wouldn't throw up after just 1 drink!!! Felt terrible. But I'm healing...